Sheila M - Cochlear Volunteer

I've been on a senior networking site that is primarily for dating purposes although some great penpals have been made there!

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It's so hard to write about yourself in a way that would appeal to someone of the opposite sex. I'm there because I'd like to meet a kind, Christian gentleman for companionship.

My friends and co-workers said not to mention my deafness or cochlear implants. My family said if I felt better by being upfront about my hearing impairment that I should do so.

I posted a couple of sentences about it in my profile and noted that it was a happy story I'd like to share with my date in person. Well, I only left it there 2 days and removed it. I chickened out. I didn't want anyone to prejudge me and think of me as handicapped.

When is the appropriate time to bring this up?

My co-workers said something that flattered me though. They all said they have never thought of me as handicapped and don't even think of my cochlear implants until I bring it up!

Does that mean I'm viewed as normal? ha ha I saw a bumper sticker on a truck in front of me on the expressway that was on upside down. It said "Why be normal?" ha ha

Comments

Carla B - Awareness Network Volunteer

January 10, 2009

Yes, my co-workers forget that I'm hearing impaired also. I think it's best to bring it up maybe by the 3rd conversation with the gentleman. Hook him in first, then kiss and tell! LOL!! We are all judged at once when we meet someone new and it think it goes the same for writing about yourself because that what everyone will see at first. Then if you make contact once or twice, then it's appropriate to bring it up. If you see commercials or ads, they only show the glossy part, then you read about all the "details". Think about it, cochlear implants really move us into the hearing world. From what I read about all of you, it seems all of you are mainstreamed into the hearing world. We're only deaf at bedtime! LOL!!! :-)

Or just say you have "implants" and leave it as that. :-) Ha, ha.

Linda K. - Cochlear Volunteer

Well, I think it would be worth an experiment . . . Join one dating site and mention that you have a Cochlear implant to help you hear better, and in the other site, don't mention it at all---then see which site delivers the most responses. Good luck!

Lil K. - Cochlear Volunteer

Shelia, Don't make your cochlear implant what you are all about. Because it's been a life changing occurrence for most of us-we tend to tell people early on when when we first meet someone new. If I forget to mention it at first-many people are surprised when they find out that I'm totally deaf without my processors on. Lil

Sheila M - Cochlear Volunteer

January 11, 2009

Carla, you have MY sense of humor...or is it embedded as a freebie when the doc does the implant? ha ha I like the idea of saying I have "implants" and betcha can't guess where they are :-) Well, I've had two coffee chats and both gentlemen had heard of the cochlear implant before. One even has a distant family member with one!

Linda K, this is my fourth and final try with online dating site (tried three of them about 2 or 3 years ago). I don't think this is a practical expenditure in this economy. Your idea of doing comparison sites would be good if I could get a pure comparison. Well, forget that because most people join more than one site at a time...same guys, different site.

Lil K, you hit something on the head with your comments. That's what my co-workers basically said to me. I even went as far as to ask one of my single, male co-workers, and he agreed with the girls.

Sheila M - Cochlear Volunteer

When to tell, what to say?

Comments