Nicole

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nerves

May 20, 2009
posted by  Nicole


OKAY, I AM SERIOUSLY EMOTIONALLY EATING!!!!!!  How to stop from eating sooo much food.  I know things will be better after the surgery..  I am just sick al the time and I can't sleep, but am soo tired.. 

 

I really don't cry much anymore, but I have been lately..  It seems like I am nervous.  I know I have said this already, I feel fine and I feel like the surgery is going to be successful, but for some reason deep down I am obviously scared.  They are playing with my head here and will I ever hear again after the surgery???  Will I like it??  I hear people sound funny at first.  Do I want to deal with that??  Do I want to go through all that retraining of my brain to understand sound??  Will I get frustrated??  Why am I so adamant about getting this surgery then??  Why do I feel it will improve my quality of life??  Why is this soo important??

 

I have heard some stories in the last couple of days of what people are going through and mine seems sooo minor and sooooo, oh I don't know, so immaterial.  Why am I sooo selfish and so whiney..  People have it much harder than I do..  Nicole, just stop IT!!

 

Alright, I've gotta go be hard on myself.  No, I'm fine..  I'm going to clean a little more today and get ready for my pop's 60th birthday!!  WHOO HOOO old man!!  We will take him out for a yummy steak, his fav..

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